tangled words (lotusk) wrote,
tangled words
lotusk

Breathe

Title: Breathe
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jongin/Kyungsoo
Genre: Fluff, smut, mild angst, hurt comfort
Length: Oneshot (~2.6k)
Summary: Kyungsoo can't sleep and his boyfriend Jongin is just a phone call away.

Buzz buzz

Jongin's eyelids crack open and peer blearily at the alarm clock. The big red digits say 2 AM. There's no need to look at the caller ID because it can only be one person.

"Soo?" Jongin's voice is raspy with sleep.

"Can't sleep."

"Was it a nightmare?" His knuckles swipe his eyelids as he tries to shake off the gossamer net of sleep that's got him in its hold.

"No. I haven't gone to sleep yet."

"Oh Soo." Jongin's sigh is stained with months of concern and worry. "What do you want to hear tonight?"

"Hush?" Kyungsoo whispers in that warm whiskey voice that always pulls at the fine strings of emotion in Jongin's heart.

"You haven't asked for that one in a while." Jongin scratches his nape, his knuckles pressing into his sleep rumpled pillow. "You should just move in with me already. You'd save so much money on call charges." he gives a token grumble but when he sings for his boyfriend, he always does it with all the love his soul can hold, "Hush little baby, don't say a word. Papa's gonna give you a mockingbird ..."

Verse after verse he sings, and the huskily voiced syllables wrap themselves around Kyungsoo's weary heart and limbs until slowly, they displace the worries and anxieties that have been tearing at his peace of mind.

"Better?" Jongin asks.

"Always." Kyungsoo's tone is light ... but both Jongin and him know that he's not being completely truthful.

"Move your stuff over this weekend, Soo, please?"

"Not this weekend. G'night, Jongin. I'm sorry I woke you." And he hangs up before Jongin can say anything else.

For the next half hour, Jongin lies in bed, his mind tossed and tangled in anxious thoughts. It's been four months since Kyungsoo's father passed away and he's still having problems sleeping. The first month, the calls had come nightly. In the second month, they'd dropped to three to four times a week. And for the past two months, he's been getting 2AM calls two to three times weekly.

He just wants Kyungsoo here. Jongin somehow knows that if his boyfriend would just agree to move in, things would get better and he'd be able to sleep better. But Kyungsoo is the most stubborn person he knows so he resigns himself to the fact that 2 AM calls will be a regular fixture in his life for a while longer.

And with that, Jongin empties his head of everything so he can go back to sleep ... because someone has to take the lecture notes.

***

As his backlight morphs to darkness, Kyungsoo places his phone on the table. Talking to Jongin always helps to chase away some of the ghosts. He feels bad for disturbing his sleep but sometimes he just can't help himself. When the images of things he'd done with his father threaten to bury him, and snatches of happy and angry words they'd exchanged when he was alive come back to taunt him, only Jongin's voice can save him. His mother seems to be coping with the loss better, but he only speaks to her a couple of times a week and hasn't visited his hometown in more than a month. He should, he realises, make a trip out to see her soon. Make sure she's ok.

It's been four months and he can't understand why he can't sleep. He doesn't feel sad during the day - maybe because he's too busy trying to stay awake to feel sad. But bedtime is usually a ... difficult time for him. He tries to quieten the clamor in his head by studying, reading, gaming and watching anime - but there's only so much those distractions can do for him. Sometimes only Jongin can make things better, only Jongin's voice gives him peace. For some reason it's always 2 AM when Kyungsoo's resolve finally crumbles and he calls his boyfriend.

He's sorry for what he puts Jongin through but he's not sorry for the way Jongin makes him feel, and the way his mind and heart calm after hearing his voice - they calm enough so that he can finally fall asleep. So Kyungsoo continues to make his guilty 2 AM calls and hopes and prays that the day won't come when Jongin won't answer.

***

Light aubergine shadows bruise the papery skin beneath Kyungsoo's eyes and he struggles not to go under as Professor Whitman drones on and on about Computer Architecture. Beside him, there's the steady scritch scratch of ball pen nib as it transfers black inky scrawl to the surface of a lined A4 page. Jongin's forehead is creased with intense concentration as he listens to the lecture and bends his head down from time to time to scribble notes.

4 hours. That's all the sleep Kyungsoo managed to get in the end. The caffeine from breakfast has long dissolved into nothingness and his eyelids feel heavy, so, so heavy. When the prof has his back towards the class, his body tilts to the right as he gives up the fight and slumps onto Jongin, who quietly repositions him so that his cheek is resting on his denim clad thigh. As Kyungsoo strokes Jongin's bare knee through the rip in his jeans, and Jongin's fingertips brush back and forth soothingly across his forehead, Kyungsoo falls into dreams ...

***

Buzz buzz.

Jongin doesn't need to look at the clock as he reaches for his phone. He knows it's 2 AM because it's always 2 AM when his phone rings.

"Soo?"

"What were you dreaming of? When the phone rang?"

"You." Jongin chuckles throatily.

"You're so full of BS, Jongin."

"I'm not! We were messing around."

"Tell me more,"

"We were in the back row of a cinema. It was really dark."

"What were we doing?"

"We were making out, ok? Don't make me explain, that's just weird. I'll show you tomorrow."

"In a cinema?" Kyungsoo laughs aloud and the sound is rich velvet.

"No! I'm ... no, ok? That's just too public for me. I'll show you here for fuck's sake."

"I was just teasing, Jongin."

"Better be." Then Jongin's voice softens, "Are you okay?"

"I just want to see you." Kyungsoo whispers. He always whispers his requests. He doesn't know why - maybe he feels bad about always waking Jongin and making him do things for him. He doesn't deserve Jongin and he's scared every day that he'll be taken from him. But if he whispers, maybe the angels won't hear him.

"Give me a sec, okay?" Jongin flips a switch and his bedside lamp casts pale golden shadows on everything. Then he throws the covers off and slowly unfolds himself off the bed. Still not quite awake, he drags stone colored curtains aside, and cradles his phone to his ear, "Hey, baby," Jongin smiles in the half light as he looks out the window and across the night. It only takes him a second to find the amber lit square in the building next door. Kyungsoo's standing in the window and it's too far to really see, but Jongin knows he's smiling. They've always done this because Kyungsoo doesn't like video calls. He says they distort faces and he doesn't like it.

"Jongin, I ..."

"Yes, Soo."

"I love you. I just want you to know that."

"I know. I love you too. Now can you move in with me already so we don't have to stare at each other through glass windows when we miss each other?"

"I'll think about it."

"Well, at least you didn't hang up this time." Jongin chuckles.

"I don't deserve you."

"Don't say things that aren't true. "

"You don't know how much it means to me that you're always here for me."

"I do, Soo, I know ... And I don't think i do enough since you still can't sleep. You feel better now? Do you want a song too?"

"Iris." Kyungsoo whispers and Jongin smiles because his boyfriend always whispers when he asks for things and it's just precious.

"Okay, but you know I always forget the words."

"It's okay, Jongin. I can't really remember them either." Kyungsoo chuckles.

"Let's go back to bed first then. My stunningly bad vocals will probably put you to sleep." Jongin instructs firmly.

"But I love your voice." Kyungsoo says and they take one last yearning look through the window before making their way back to their respective beds.

As they lie in separate still-warm cocoons of pillows, sheets and quilts, Jongin begins to sing the words of the Goo Goo Dolls song Kyungsoo loves so much:

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am


By the time Jongin reaches the end of the first verse, he hears Kyungsoo's soft snore and breathes a sigh of relief ... and wishes he were snoring beside him for real.

***

It's 2 AM again and Kyungsoo has the receiver to his ear. He waits till the phone stops ringing but Jongin doesn't pick up. Kyungsoo is worried because Jongin always answers and he always makes him feel better. He always helps him sleep. As Kyungsoo is about to press redial, Jongin's name and number flash on his cellphone screen.

"Jongin? Why didn't you pick up?"

"Open the door for me, Soo."

"What?"

"Open your door. I'm outside."

"But it's 2 AM?" Kyungsoo's heard the words but he can't process them. Jongin's supposed to be in his apartment where he lives alone, his apartment across the road.

"Yes it is. Let me in, Soo. It's cold."

And Kyungsoo starts walking as quickly as he can to the door.

"Why are you here so late?" He hisses into the phone as he makes his way across the dark living room.

"Just open the damned door!" Jongin's voice is a mixture of amused and impatient.

Finally, Kyungsoo unlatches the dead bolt and swings open the door. Jongin's wearing a black hoodie, sweats and UGG boots. He doesn't say anything, and he doesn't smile; Jongin just walks into the apartment and takes Kyungsoo in his arms. And for a moment they just stand there and soak each other in and just ... breathe.

***

"Why did you come here?"

"Maybe hearing my voice isn't enough and that's why you're still having trouble sleeping after all this time?" Jongin's fingers trail up and down Kyungsoo's arm. They're lying on his narrow single bed and their faces are just two inches apart as they talk.

"Maybe." Kyungsoo says thoughtfully. Then he stops thinking for a while as Jongin's mouth captures his and his teasing tongue explores the inside of Kyungsoo's mouth.

"Will you stay?" Kyungsoo whispers and Jongin nods, his lips on his neck and his fingers fanned out on Kyungsoo's hip. Kyungsoo's tongue flicks gently over tanned collarbones and Jongin gasps at the frissons rippling across his skin. Then they're kissing again, their tongues wrapping around each other in a flirtatious kind of dance. Breaths quicken as the kiss becomes just a little more urgent, a little more passionate.

Jongin's palms slide firmly over the sweet curve of Kyungsoo's ass and drag slowly over the backs of his thighs. Then his hands are pulling Kyungsoo closer still so that their hips are perfectly aligned and their cocks make aching contact. Kyungsoo's hands slip under Jongin's shirt and slide over his taut, flat belly while their hips rock in sensual abandon. Pushing aside cotton fabric, Kyungsoo bends down and licks one dusky nipple before sucking hard on it. Jongin's hips undulate and he moans softly in response - but when Kyungsoo's hot wet mouth engulfs the other nipple, Jongin's moan is loud and unrestrained.

"Shhh, the walls are really thin." Kyungsoo whispers as his hand covers Jongin's mouth in a slight panic - he doesn't want an audience and he'll have one if his roommate is woken up by their lovemaking.

"I'll be quiet." Jongin promises and Kyungsoo removes his hand. They kiss again and this time, Kyungsoo's hand steals inside Jongin's briefs, grips his cock and tugs. In the matter of a minute, both men are naked and Kyungsoo's mouth is moving over bare skin, moving over Jongin's cock. The sensations threaten to overwhelm Jongin and he struggles, but manages somehow to only moan softly while Kyungsoo devastates him with his mouth and tongue.

"Stop. Soo, you have to stop."

"Don't want to."

"Stop anyway." Jongin's voice is firm and Kyungsoo reluctantly stops. Then Jongin makes him lie on his back before pushing his thighs apart. He nibbles and licks Kyungsoo's hips and stomach leisurely before finally taking Kyungsoo's length in his mouth. And now it's Kyungsoo's turn to try and contain his moans while Jongin tries his best to make him moan louder.

"Jongin," Kyungsoo says when he's on the verge of coming undone. He guides Jongin's hand to his hip and his ass and Jongin understands. Once the lube has been retrieved, Jongin slowly and carefully prepares Kyungsoo, and when he's ready for more, Kyungsoo turns on his side and whispers, "Jongin, please."

As gently as he can, Jongin pushes in, right to the hilt. Kyungsoo will never tire of the aching fullness he feels when Jongin is inside him and he shuts his eyes as he revels in the mixture of pleasure and slight sting. He bites his lip as he concentrates and moves his hips, meeting Jongin's thrusts in a deeply sensual rhythm. They both moan as softly as they can - Jongin occasionally tugging on Kyungsoo's earlobe with his teeth to try and make him lose control. As Jongin's cock slides in and out of Kyungsoo's ass, as his hips slam urgently against Kyungsoo's buttocks, Jongin can feel the tightness building and increasing. His hand over Kyungsoo's much smaller one, they fist his cock together and pump it till Kyungsoo shudders, moaning and coming all over his maroon bedsheets. Once Kyungsoo's orgasmed, Jongin doesn't hold back and plunges into him at an intense pace and soon, he too, is shuddering in ecstasy as he comes with his arm over Kyungsoo's chest and his hand over Kyungsoo's racing heart.


***

"Let's move your stuff over to my place this weekend, ok?" Jongin says later as he strokes Kyungsoo's back soothingly. He's prepared for another I'll think about it but in the end, all Kyungsoo says is, "Maybe." It's a definite step forward, so Jongin smiles as he rubs his chin against Kyungsoo's shoulder.

"Good night, Soo." Jongin whispers, his lips grazing Kyungsoo's earlobe. But Kyungsoo never replies because he's already asleep. Contentment flooding his body, Jongin smiles once again before he breathes in the familiar scent of Kyungsoo's skin and his eyes flicker shut.

***

Kyungsoo opens his eyes abruptly. He's not sure what woke him, he just knows something did. Disorientated and groggy, he peers at the digital clock. It's 2 AM. Instinctively, he reaches for his phone but then he stops himself before his hand reaches the bedside table. Kyungsoo keeps forgetting he doesn't need his phone anymore even though it's 2 AM.

"Jongin?" Kyungsoo says.

"Shhhh, go back to sleep, Soo." Jongin's eyes don't even open as he dusts butterfly kisses on Kyungsoo's nape.

And Kyungsoo snuggles deeper into Jongin and sleeps ...



FIN~





A/N: um this fic was inspired by Anna Nalick's Breathe (2AM) and it turned out fluffier than I planned. But anyway, it's 2.6k of Kaisoo and I hope you guys like it somewhat. Please let me know what you think of the fic, because comments are always loved :)

this fic is dedicated to Sydney ... because <3
Tags: !fanfic, college!au, genre: fluff, genre: hurt/comfort, genre: romance, genre: smut, group: exo-k, kai, kaisoo, kaisoo fluff, kyungsoo, length: oneshot, member: kai, member: kyungsoo, pairing: kai/kyungsoo, rating: nc-17
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